dlanor: (Yuri - forgotten lies)
zero ([personal profile] dlanor) wrote2011-12-24 08:38 am
Entry tags:

Intermission - Yuri/Estelle fanfiction: Why him?

Good. That is the first word that comes to mind to almost anyone who knows her, has spoken with her. An inability to see the true evil that hides, however it’s almost as if she traded that so she could see the hidden good inside people, that good that no one else can see besides her. Perhaps it was her gift. One that he wants to protect. She’s seen the evils, been hurt, been told it was better off if she was dead, but still, she saw that good in people. She never gave up on them.

She never gave up on him.

That always bothered him. She should have gone back with Flynn that day, and yet somehow what he had done had only strengthened her faith in him. He had dirtied his hands, and yet she still shook it, telling him “Here’s to the road ahead.” So pure, and innocent. One that cannot be skewed by the world, no matter what she sees, no matter if she sees the worst in people, she still somehow sees the best in them.

Why him?

She insists she still wants to travel with him, be with him and everyone else. But especially him. He’s not so dense he can’t see what she meant. He knew perfectly well what she was implying that day, still, she deserves so much better. Why him? Why some lower quarter commoner who had to resort to fighting and stealing just to live, who kills those he feels don’t even deserve to breathe the breath of life. She deserves to live a happy and peaceful life, one where she’s safe, one where she will be protected because who knows how much longer he will live. He’s confident in his skills, and proclaims that it won’t be easy to kill him, but that luck could just run out one day. One wrong move, and a blade could easily take his life. Who would protect her then?

Maybe he’s just waiting until the right person comes to her side. Just like with Flynn, he’s just filling in until the person she deserves comes and sweeps her off her feet. Someone who will protect her, be by her side, give her the comfort she needs, someone who will find her to be their world.

He does find her to be his world, but he’s simply pollution, contaminating it. That pure, beautiful world that is getting overrun by wars, murder, cries for help, but she is able to help everyone despite how much her own world crumbles. He knows her pain, he knows that behind that pure smile is a young woman who is in constant pain. But she’s so strong that she won’t show it. There’s no way she could keep smiling despite being told she was a poison and actually mean it. He imagines it comes with the boundaries of being a princess. She’s forced to wear that façade and she doesn’t know how to wear another one, she doesn’t know how to truly show her pain because she was told she couldn’t. Maybe one day she will be able to show it. Maybe that’s what he can do, tell her it’s okay to cry, tell her it’s okay to show when she’s in pain. Tell her it’s okay to be selfish sometimes. Why? Why can’t she think of herself?

Why was she raised in such an environment where she was so belittled?

He saw how they threw her out once her powers were no longer of use to them. Those corrupt nobles who only wanted her as some decoration, as a way to get power. And yet she smiles and bears it. She’s so strong, and yet so weak at the same time. It’s no wonder she wanted to escape that day. Maybe she could no longer take it and used the excuse of finding Flynn to get out…

But he knows better than that. He knows she really wanted to find Flynn, that she had to tell him of those dangers, however he can’t deny that a part of her was so happy to finally be free, to see the world with her own eyes and not out of the books she’s read.

He has to think it once more… “Why him?”

She deserves so much better… why did such a good, pure young woman fall for him? Because he will only drag her down to his level. One who is upset with the ways of this world and murder in cold blood – yet she sees it as his way of protecting the innocents. One who quit the knights because he couldn’t stand their ways – yet she sees it as his way of finding his own path for the better. She believes too much in him. One day, she will finally see. He will let her down. When that day comes… it will be painful to see her, but he will find relief in the fact that she’s finally stopped believing in him as she has.

…but he knows that day will never come. She will always find something good in him, something good in the motivation for his actions.

Which brings him back to the question he’s been pondering over and over…

Why him?
auriga: (Neviril - breeze)

[personal profile] auriga 2011-12-24 05:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, Yuri. ;_; This is just a beautiful bit of introspection.
auriga: (Fam & Gisey - over the sky)

[personal profile] auriga 2011-12-24 07:11 pm (UTC)(link)
It's fun when things turn out like that. :3
milla: (pic#1128219)

[personal profile] milla 2011-12-25 06:10 am (UTC)(link)
EVERYTHING I LOVE ABOUT THEM /weeps bitterly in hands.

It's beautiful. Your writing is very potent, and you understand their relationship so well :(
magpies: (bsg o1)

[personal profile] magpies 2011-12-28 07:53 am (UTC)(link)
So sweet ;~; ♥